It could be argued, correctly, that the sports world is often covered in such a way as to make you think that there is a nicely packaged cliché for just about every situation. SportsCenter has got to be some kind of subliminal advertisement for a vast book of colloquialisms that will someday be released. When was the last time Merrill Hoge blew your top with a phrase that didn't involve the words "seal" or "alley?" Chris Berman has become a rumblin' bumblin' train to nowhere (aside from maybe the bar, or Canada). Even the beloved Mike Golic seems to have been tinged with the oversimplification sickness that pervades the rest of the Worldwide Leader.
But it's not just the anchors and analysts at fault for this trend, the players are equally adept at piecing together words that seem to have meaning at face value. It's only when we are shaken from our apathy-induced coma that we see they make no sense at all. Brett Favre is so bored with the entire exercise that he has decided to ask himself all the questions at his press conferences, and yet still can't conjure an original response.
Asking Brett, "Did I text my penis to Jenn Sterger?"
Responding Brett, "Maybe."
Asking Brett, "Am I too old for this game?"
Responding Brett, "That could be."
Asking Brett, "Am I still the best quarterback in football?"
Responding Brett, "Y'know, probably."
My goal here is nothing revolutionary, I simply wish to poke and prod, for that is my nature. And with that in mind, allow me to gather up the top ten sports clichés nearest to my heart and present them for your viewing pleasure.
1. "It's the NBA, everybody makes a run." - Okay, have you seen the Clippers? That team hasn't had a run since Reagan was frightening the Russians.
2. "No question about it." - Then why did you just get asked the damn question?
3. "Defense wins championships." - If you use this you are either Matt Millen or just an idiot. (Pardon me for repeating myself right there.)
4. "He's a game manager." - Usually used for quarterbacks, this translates to: he has no physical skills of any kind, but his team seems to do OK despite his relative crappiness.
5. "He just finds a way to make plays." - And Shawn Kemp found a way to make numerous, illegitimate children.
6. "We came to play today." - Really? Because I came to grab a glass of chardonnay and take in some Michael Bolton.
7. "We're just glad to come outta here with a 'W.'" - They must be Sesame Street watchers. (This lame joke was brought to you by the number 8.)
8. "It is what it is." - A new level in wordsmith-ness.
9. "That's getting it done." - I hope Mark Jackson doesn't have this entirely generic and common arrangement of words patented.
10. "We got the monkey off our backs." - Ummm, why would you want to get rid of a monkey? Sure, they throw a little poop, but you're no picnic either.
--This, our 100th post, comes from Adam.
But it's not just the anchors and analysts at fault for this trend, the players are equally adept at piecing together words that seem to have meaning at face value. It's only when we are shaken from our apathy-induced coma that we see they make no sense at all. Brett Favre is so bored with the entire exercise that he has decided to ask himself all the questions at his press conferences, and yet still can't conjure an original response.
Asking Brett, "Did I text my penis to Jenn Sterger?"
Responding Brett, "Maybe."
Asking Brett, "Am I too old for this game?"
Responding Brett, "That could be."
Asking Brett, "Am I still the best quarterback in football?"
Responding Brett, "Y'know, probably."
My goal here is nothing revolutionary, I simply wish to poke and prod, for that is my nature. And with that in mind, allow me to gather up the top ten sports clichés nearest to my heart and present them for your viewing pleasure.
1. "It's the NBA, everybody makes a run." - Okay, have you seen the Clippers? That team hasn't had a run since Reagan was frightening the Russians.
2. "No question about it." - Then why did you just get asked the damn question?
3. "Defense wins championships." - If you use this you are either Matt Millen or just an idiot. (Pardon me for repeating myself right there.)
4. "He's a game manager." - Usually used for quarterbacks, this translates to: he has no physical skills of any kind, but his team seems to do OK despite his relative crappiness.
5. "He just finds a way to make plays." - And Shawn Kemp found a way to make numerous, illegitimate children.
6. "We came to play today." - Really? Because I came to grab a glass of chardonnay and take in some Michael Bolton.
7. "We're just glad to come outta here with a 'W.'" - They must be Sesame Street watchers. (This lame joke was brought to you by the number 8.)
8. "It is what it is." - A new level in wordsmith-ness.
9. "That's getting it done." - I hope Mark Jackson doesn't have this entirely generic and common arrangement of words patented.
10. "We got the monkey off our backs." - Ummm, why would you want to get rid of a monkey? Sure, they throw a little poop, but you're no picnic either.
--This, our 100th post, comes from Adam.
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